What's a Granola?

What exactly is a 'Granola'?

1. Granola (n.)
An adjective used to describe people who are environmentally aware (flower child, tree-hugger), open-minded, left-winged, socially aware and active, queer or queer-positive, anti-oppressive/discriminatory (racial, sexual, gender, class, age, etc.) with an organic and natural emphasis on living, who will usually refrain from consuming or using anything containing animals and animal by-products (for health and/or environmental reasons), as well as limit consumption of what he or she does consume, as granola people are usually concerned about wasting resources. Usually buy only fair-trade goods and refrain from buying from large corporations, as most exploit the environment as well as their workers, which goes against granola core values.

2. Granola (n.)
A person who dresses like a hippie, eats natural foods (granola), and is usually a Liberal, but in all other ways is a typical middle class white person, and is likely to revert back to being straight when they finish college.
Did you see that granola chick at the farmer's market buying bean sprouts?
Yeah, her new Volvo was parked next to me.

 
3. Granola (n.)
 A tree hugging, free spirited hippie minus all the drugs.
Melissa is a granola.

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Granola's come from different tribes and are classified based on their characteristics.
Class 1- Average-Joe
Class 2- Prius People
Class 3- College Know-it-all Hippie
Class 4- Trader Joe('s)
Class 5- Tree Climbing, Free Spirited Liberal
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Here's a few of our 'Granola' friends...

This is a typical Granola, from the Brawny tribe. 
He is carrying a standard granola pack, sleeping bag 
and mat included. This burly young granola takes the 
stance of his people, while styling plaid attire. 
I think we can conclude he is a class 5 granola.

Two traditional Granola's,
more commonly identified with the Flower Power tribe.
Traveling with nothing but the clothe on their backs,
these granola's, live off of mother nature,
in hopes to have a spiritual awakening.
Once frolicking en mass, the Flower Power tribe
is dwindling in numbers. Your most likely to see them
hitching a ride on Route 66, but beware of there Liberal
views, stare too long and you can get caught in
a Pro Marijuana Rally. No doubt a class 5 granola.

This is a standard Granola family.
They branch off from the Camelback tribe.
Notice they all sport the ever so stylish camelpak,
matching granola hats, shade changing eye glasses,
a heap of sunscreen, a walking stick and some
lightly burned skin and we have the Camelbacks.
Definitely a class 4, you'd see them in
aisle 5 of Trader Joe's.



 This Granola is a fine example of a class 3, College
Know-it-all Hippie from the Sha-la-la tribe.
What is a College Know-it-all Hippie?

Can be thought of as just extremely liberal college students, where there are shrooms, acid, lots of pot, "hippy"-clothes, classic rock, etc., involved. Can be hardcore, but not nearly as hardcore as the hippies of yesterday. While real hippies have a totally different kind of lifestyle than the average American, College Know-It-All Hippies are just college students who usually come from upper middle-class families where their parents pay for them to go to school, which goes against what actually makes a real-life hippy.

Free speech applies to them and them only--not those dirty, filthy conservatives. They tend to talk about moving outside of the United States, because life in America has treated them oh so terribly (even with Freedom of Speech/Freedom of Expression, which is what these new hippies are based on). They pick out the government's flaws, and they tend to know very little about how money, government, other types of authority work, and then they have the "fuck government/all corperations" mentality based on those little pieces of "knowledge." 


and clearly, HIM. 



 



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CLASS 5 'GRANOLA' ATTIRE